There are numerous, diverse issues surrounding the legal custody of your children. Laws vary from state to state. Each individual situation is different depending on your personal circumstances, such as marital status; employment; income; other financial resources; family support; relationship with another parent; past history of abuse or domestic violence; arrest report; and earlier role in children’s life.
The following ideas are just some suggestions to think about if you’re fighting for custody of your children or if you fear that you simply may need to battle the father/mother of your children for custody.
1 – Don’t think you will never have to fight for custody of your children.
Don’t assume you recognize the father/mother of your children so well, that you simply haven’t any fear of being forced to fight this man or woman to retain your parental rights. Don’t foolishly trust everything the father/mother of your children tells you.
If they were planning to file for custody of your children, do you really think they’d let you know in advance? Obviously, if they gave you any type of warning, you would have time to obtain your own lawyer and try to beat them at their own game. So of course, they’re going to lie about their intentions if they’re planning to seek custody of your children.
And they’re getting to attempt to make their lies sound so sincere, so convincing then honest that you simply could easily be deceived. The only advice I even have about the way to tell the difference between a lie and therefore the truth is – accompany your gut instinct. If you have any reason to believe they may be thinking of filing for custody of your children, follow your heart. If you’ve got any doubt about how honest they’re being with you, don’t wait around to ascertain what happens next. Time is critical, so don’t delay taking action to protect yourself if you feel threatened or mislead in any way.
2 – Be very careful about whom you trust with important information.
You may be shocked to find out how quickly word travels from what you tell your friends or some of your family members to the other parent’s friends or family members. People love to gossip. Rumors spread like wildfire with small regard for you or your children.
The only way to extinguish flaming tales of your tragic situation is to keep your mouth shut. Don’t share your side of the story with anyone unless you’re willing to bet your life and your future together with your children on their loyalty to you.
When you’re hurt by the actions of the father/mother of your children, it can be very difficult to not talk about your feelings of disbelief, anger, anxiety, and devastation, but it can hurt you more, in the long run, to share your emotions with even your closest friends and family. You never know who will repeat what you say to whom and there’s nothing worse than being stabbed in the back by someone you thought you could trust.
This may be the foremost expensive, bitter battle of your life. Don’t risk the outcome by revealing significant factors of your defense to more than a few of your closest friends or family members, whom you trust with all your heart. The stakes are high in any custody case. Gambling during this situation can reduce your credibility, destroy your reputation, ruin your defense strategy, and significantly decrease your chances of winning in court.
3 – Hire a lawyer. You do need one.
You’re marketing yourself short if you don’t seek legal advice. Unless you’ve got incredible knowledge of the kid custody laws in your state, if you’re not represented by an attorney, you’ll probably be manipulated, intimidated, and mislead by the attorney hired by the father/mother of your children.
which is the first step in finding a lawyer to represent you. Once you share your side of the story with an attorney, they ought to tell you what they believe the probabilities are for you to prevail, what their strategy would be to defend you, and the way much they’re going to require as a “retainer fee.”
You must pay this money upfront before they will take actions to represent you. This fee is typically put into an account that your attorney uses to fund your defense. Each phone call, office visit, fax correspondence, a conference call with another attorney, a review of your message on voice mail, etc. costs you money. The attorney deducts these costs from the retainer fee.
4 – Seek free legal advice if you can’t afford to buy an attorney.
If you can’t afford a lawyer, most states have free legal services available for people, who qualify for this sort of assistance supported their income.
If you’ve got time to seem for a lawyer, one among the simplest ways to seek out an honest attorney, is by asking friends, family, business associates – people with knowledge in this department – people you value and trust. What you hear by word of mouth will probably give you a more honest insight into a lawyer’s ability than any advertisement claiming to offer the best attorneys for your case.
If you think that you can’t afford to rent an attorney, consider whether you’ll afford to lose custody of your children. The choice is yours. Where there’s a will, there’s usually away. You may have to take a bank loan, remortgage your house, borrow from friends or family members, sell your favorite toys, cash in savings bonds, withdraw from your retirement account, pawn your diamond ring, or cancel your cable television, telephone service, or other little luxuries, but aren’t your children worth making any sacrifice to make sure your future together?
5 – Watch your back.
Consider every move you make with extreme caution. You would be surprised how stupid little actions you’re taking are often twisted to seem negative or illegal. Don’t do anything remotely illegal, like lying on your tax return; taking employment that pays “under the table;” drinking and driving; associating with people that could also be linked to potentially illegal activities or attending establishments with questionable reputations.
Make an additional effort to stay your house clean, free from products containing alcohol, and filled with items essential for correct feeding, bathing, teaching, and caring for your children. You never know who is watching you or once you may get a knock at the door from the local Child Welfare authorities, who received an anonymous report that you’re an unfit parent.
If you think within the “always innocent until proven guilty” concept, you’ll be disappointed. Better safe than sorry when it’s your children, your reputation, your parenting skills, your mental stability, and your life that’s unproven.
6 – Never sign anything that your attorney hasn’t read.
Better yet only sign documents associated with your child’s legal action within the presence of your attorney.
Even though it takes but a moment to use your signature to a bit of paper, it can take months to reverse the terms you agreed to be signing a legal document.
7 – Remember no matter how much you’re hurting and regardless of how much you loathe the father/mother of your children, a child custody case is not about you.
It’s about your children. It’s about what’s best for them. The court battle and therefore the consequences of the result have the potential to harm your kids quite anyone.